I have a curious relationship with San Francisco, last and westernmost of the great European-style cities, incubator for new cultures, and perpetually “all-in” Gold Rush town. It’s a city where I have never lived, but where I always feel accepted and at home with myself.
I remember once hanging out in Washington Square, just to enjoy the sunshine, and having a tourist say, “Hey, you look like you’re from around here. How do I get to the …” I knew exactly how to get where the man was asking, and I didn’t try to disabuse him of the notion that he had found a prototypical local. But the truth is, I am likely to never be a local. For now and for the foreseeable future my relationship status with San Francisco will remain, simply, “neighbor.” I am okay with this.
Washington Square … & Golden Gate Park Dahlias
Here is a brief mix of impressions and images from the Labor Day weekend trip I took with my wife to the city. We still call San Francisco “the city” in Sacramento, a self-defeating habit.
The dahlias in Golden Gate Park, just outside the Conservatory or Flowers, are in full bloom right now. My sister-in-law was right to want to see them. Hanging out in North Beach, having a cappuccino at Caffe Trieste, feels comforting; just like it has always felt. My intention had been to try a new coffee experience at a spot with an ambitious name – “Coffee Movement.” But the line was too long. The AI industry has visibly taken over the city. To me San Francisco looks mobbed with young adults, even more than I remember in the past. Or maybe I am getting older, so the city feels younger. A greater number of these young people seemed to have babies and small children in tow on this trip than on previous ones. To me this felt hopeful, but it’s possible I’m just looking around for hope. (Here’s a less hopeful but still fascinating take on San Francisco from another person on Substack, a young writer named Megan, entitled “Keeping Your Options Open is Ruining Your Life.”)
San Francisco is more diverse than the formerly red-lined neighborhood where I live in the older, leafy part of Sacramento. But it is far, far less diverse than suburban Elk Grove where I teach. The September light is clear and bright and thin. I read that Mayor Lurie is trying to crack down on open air drug markets and rowdy behavior near BART stations in the Mission. May he succeed. I also read that baby boom homeowners are still at it, trying with all their remaining might to block housing development in Pacifica. May a “builder’s remedy” at last cause them to fail.
Did I say the AI industry has visibly taken over San Francisco? The hordes of twenty- and thirty-somethings seemed atmospheric testament to this, as did the Waymos lined up one after the next along Leavenworth Street in Russian Hill. Crass AI advertising visible practically everywhere added to the impression.
Personally, I don’t know what to make of AI. So I’ll resist the temptation to say too much. My older son, a budding physicist, tells me that AI just partnered with humans in solving one of the most perplexing problems in all of mathematics. Will AI continue to need to partner with humans? A recent Substack article by a journalist I admire named Kelsey Piper indicates that the people pushing the technology, a remarkable concentration of whom live in or near San Francisco, don’t seem to care. The explicit plan, she reminds us civilians not truly paying attention, is for AI to come to depend on itself, in exponentially more powerful iterations and without humans.
But my theme for half of my Substack, and therefore for roughly half of this legacy blog on WordPress, is on relationships and gender, not AI. I’ll conclude, then, by stating something obvious. San Francisco remains a very romantic place; a great spot to take a weekend trip with your lover. As a person who’s been married for a long time, I’ll even give the unsolicited advice that taking time out for little adventures together is a good way to stay married. Such adventures don’t need to be out of town, and they don’t need to be expensive. But by all means visit San Francisco if you can. It’s the prettiest city in the US, and all the media stories badmouthing it strike me as largely hype, or perhaps sour grapes.
The prettiest of US cities …
In this spirit I’ll make four date recommendations. They are all in in the western, almost suburban-feeling Richmond and Sunset districts. These neighborhoods can be especially cold and foggy, and probably aren’t worth the trek if you’re visiting from a long way away. Still, this outermost part of town feels all of a sudden much more happening than it used to, so I wanted to give it a shout out. Also September and October are summer in San Francisco, which makes now a good time to visit the fog belt.
In the inner Richmond, on Clement Street, Kitchen Istanbul is an absolutely fabulous date night restaurant. Make sure to try the Börek, a leek and cheese explosion in phyllo. Down the block, in the daytime, we visited Green Apple Books, an old haunt of mine and a place I can always score an appealing new title. Further out, in a surprising location (to me) on Balboa, is Rampant wine bar, a fun and openly friendly spot with delicious pours. Plus, it’s not far from Ocean Beach. My wife thought the owner was probably a surfer. Finally, on the other side of the park in the Sunset, is Outerlands, an unpretentious but quality hangout for either brunch or dinner with cool woodwork and tasty cocktails. It’s reliably good fun.
